time: 4 am

oh man film history is killing me rite now.

recipe for success wen studying:

3 cups of coffee
1 packet of ciggies
1 box of crackers
0 friends to keep u company

n dere u haf it!!

oh man i need a ciggaratte.

to whom it may concern, though u're not aware of it.

Finally i can say...

Fuck you.

The nice thing about egotists is that
they don't talk about other people.

I guess tts the nicest thing about me.

oh man.
lvl 9 was hell yesterday.
here's the breakdown:

9am - 12pm: Shan Shan's Demo. Was the lighting Director and camera operator. the talent was late! n we were almost fucked!! our last resort wuld be me bcause im the only one dere who can play the guitar. but last minute the talent arrived. it went ok i guess. gr8 werk shan shan.

12pm - 1pm: Got the drums and amps from blk 72. bloordy tiring bringing the equipment up to 53. was perspiring so much. standard.

1pm - 6pm: did my audio recording. it took us like 2 hrs to mic up the bloordy drums. 12 mics in all. JUZ for the drums. wtf. we tweaked here n dere. tryg to get optimum audio quaility. n we tt was done, we still had the bassist and guitarist. luckily guitar god(tiz yr 3 student who 'gentel' the guitar like malmsteen) helped us out. n so after mic-ing everything, we recorded the band. the were pretty good. they sounded nice. by the time we were done, the studio was in a mess.

6pm - 9pm: shyam's demo. for my production i called upon ADIRATNA, ngee ann's dikir barat to perform for us. i felt like dying. i only manage to do 2 rehearsals, my video during the 2min advertisment wasnt werking, n the gerls were not so prepared. but still, we pulled it off. thanks ADIRATNA. =)

i didnt had anything to eat the whole day. even had to kirim Rozi to buy me a drink. times like this make me appriciate my crew=classmates.

hell on 9. yayness.

hey, BITE me.

everytime i look up
i see it in u're face u wanna hook up with me.
instead of acting like u supposed to
u cop an attitude like u're too good for me.
and you know good and damn well tt...

if i wanted to i could take u from ur man
with my eyes closed
i could have u eating out the palm of my hand.
yes i can and i will...


if i wanted to.

ghost.

Me and a couple of my gerlfrens including fahmy and Aki were ghost hunting @ Sentosa yesterday.
freaky shit.
We arrived on the island @ about 9 pm.
we chill for awhile b4 proceeding to Fort Siloso.
We arrived @ Fort Siloso at abt midnight.
n hell it was freaking dark!

We paired up. Guy n Gerl.
N as usual gerls being gerls u guys were scared shitless.
hee.
oooh, sexism.

anyways, we recorded our journey with a DV cam.
we spoke to several Rangers and they told us some scary shit.
like 2 months ago, they found a body hung by the neck at the ferry terminal.
with protuding intestines n all!!
okok the last part is a fabrication of my imagination but hey, its scary enough as it is!

n we learnt tt 'SENTOSA' wasnt the island's original name.
It was known as 'PULAU BELAKANG MATI'.
all the dead bodies buried on the island were from St John's Island, Pulau Tekong, etc.
The island was actually a burial ground.
nt including the Japanese tt died there.

we visited several hot spots.
n boy were they hot.
i'd rather nt mention what happen n lets juz leave it as tt.

we left at 4 am.

u'd have to see the video.
freaky.

woah. u guys aint giving me time to catch my breathe yet.
u're dissing me already.
gimme a break?
i guess not.
even after so long...
hmmm... i shuld know.
i aint giving u "guys" a break either.

all the philosophical talk aside,
i juz dun haf the stamina to cont entertaining dissers anymore.
so diss me.
i'd be lying if i said i don't care.
i juz dun bother.

life nv plays itself out like a film.

urgh...
hate tags.

not again...

Time:1.43 am
Location: Home

i realli dun why but writing here brings out all the negativity in me.


well, i'd juz like to sae fuck you.
not to anyone in particular.
to no one realli.

fuck you, no one.

Time: 7.59am
Location: Lvl 9, FMS 53

dammit.
open the god damn door.

no one's here. i'm the first.
always a first time for everything.
been waiting outside the preview theatre for 15 mins.
class starts @ 8.
i'm always late.
at least i'm early for once.

where the fuck is everybody.

Time: 7.59am
Location: Lvl 9, FMS 53

dammit.
open the god damn door.

no one's here. i'm the first.
always a first time for everything.
been waiting outside the preview theatre for 15 mins.
class starts @ 8.
i'm always late.
at least i'm early for once.

where the fuck is everybody.

PISS ON THIS

wow. time sure passes by.
its been quite awhile since i've written anything.
everything's change.
too many stories, dunnoe where to start.
can i really have changed so much in a couple of months?
i feel the same. hell, i know i am.
but ppl sae ive changed.
i guess its not me who changed, but my surrounddings and events tt had happened and revolved around my pathetic life sublimed the perception of "Shyam's changed".

for better? or for worse?
both i guess.
yes, i no longer gif a damn about things i used to care so much about.
but some things which i didnt gif a rat's ass b4 now surfaced in my "Priority List".
quarrels, fights, relationships; its like a vicious cycle, similar in many ways, differing much much more.

my greatest love has finally spawned into my most hated.
its amazing how love is able to rear its ugly face in an instant.
n its fucking ugly. believe me.

i realize each time i write stuff like this no one really seems to understand.
only those who knows my story can read the sublimed message in beween the lines.
even then some still dun get it.

yes, i am egodriven.
very much actually.
malechavonist, maybe.
all because of one girl.

juz to let know,
after u'd slit my throat, with my one final breath, i apologize for bleeding on your shirt.